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I guess you know you've been studying for too long when you find you've formed an emotional attachment to your pen.

I was genuinely pained at its funeral, in the kitchen bin beside the mouse whose burial my desperate cat and I held about an hour before that.

There's probably something deep or profound in there to do with being a vet student and blah blah blah but I'm too tired to find it and I already knew I've been studying for far too goddamn long anyway, so.

yay exams.

Jan. 14th, 2009




Jul. 2nd, 2008



May. 24th, 2008

So, I think I have to scratch "assemble elite super hero team" off my future ambitions list. According to my subconscious, I'm just too damn square.

Last night I had a dream where I was in the X-Men, along with several people I know. Basically, we fought an anthropomorphic tree, a massive black man who I think was Barret from FFVII threw me into the air, then we had to fill in post-crime-fighting worksheets. 

One of my teammates was one of my science tutors. A fifth year programming major. Yeah. Jennifer Lopez was also there, as a special 'guest' hero, and she shot him down, and we all had a good laugh at his expense because we might not have been the coolest superhero team, but we did still have a healthy and respectful sense of humour when it was appropriate.

If this sounds like your idea of a righteous good time, and you can resist the pull of those more 'out there' superhero teams, I'm taking applications now.

I don't think any of us even had capes.

Apr. 26th, 2008

I don't think I deserve a livejournal. I just don't find myself interesting enough to post often.

I mean, lately I think that's a good thing because uni is hard and stressful and unless I got posting RIGHT in those rare moments when the sun is shining and nothing's due in the next five minutes and I can look around and think "Hey, it's not SO bad," then everything I put down here would just be emo shit I'd have to delete once I get over it all.

Right now is the worst possible time to post because my body and I are at constant war with each other (I don't have MONEY to feed you, or TIME to give you sleep) and it's totally winning because it can get me sick once every few weeks, as it's demonstrating. It also waited until ANZAC day which was nice of it in that I didn't have to go to uni/work so I could just rest, but bad because there was nothing on TV except the same march from different angles. 

I've got three assignments due in the first two days of next week, and an exam on Monday that clashes with a prac. I've barely started any of them. The saviour of work, our 38-hour-a-week trainee has called in saying he can't work AGAIN and the three of us who are totally sick-as-dogs are being forced to work extra hours to cover him.

This is getting emo again so let's go the happy things. It's getting cold here for once so I can wear scarves every day without looking like a dick ^_^ I understand transcription and translation and DNA technology like crazy and got to show off my knowledge in front of the hot guy in my tute (I wish all seduction could be performed through knowledge of science. One of the greatest things about this place is that I can easily find loads of people as nerdy about this shit as I am) The other awesome thing is how easily it can be applied. Ecology affects everything (at least in my house. I suppose not everyone has arguments about where sharks fit into the animal kingdom aside from "they're fish." that get into the definitions of a fish and specific taxa and three books need to be dragged out) and understanding DNA is just awesomeness extreme. The ducks at uni are as lovely as ever and still sadly the highlight of my every day -- even the truly excellent ones, just because these ducks are MAD. There are now these massive white ones, like, the size of a good-sized toddler, strutting around too but the little brown ones aren't fazed, they just glide over the water in their own cool time.

Bah. Good things about work are minimal. Hopefully by the time I get there everything will be done and we'll have no customers so I can just sit out the back and eat. Fingers crossed ^_^ And afterwards I'll have money and hopefully will not have caused too many people to die.

Happy Easter, abyss.

It feels odd. When I was little I'd go so mental over Christmas and Easter and the like that it feels like it should still be a great big deal of joy and excitement. For weeks I'd get excited at the thought that some holiday was coming up and then inevitably be disappointed when it panned out to eating chocolate until I was sick while the rest of the family watched the cricket or slept. This year I'm sitting at my keyboard looking up Russell Brand (I can't figure out what he's famous for, and still haven't decided whether or not I like him but I'm oddly fascinated since youtubing BFQOTY), and reading badfic with a chocolate rabbit and probably more content than any other year. I guess I've finally figured myself out a bit.

I had the best close of my life last night until I locked my family's eggs in the store and had to go and get them this morning. Everyone was down by the beach fishing and having barbecues and picnics and other wholesome family fun. I miss living near extended family and having links to other families to do things with. We nearly went away, but in the end that got cancelled. Probably as late as two years ago I'd be upset and cry and probably yell at mum. This year I just called work and asked for some more hours, which they didn't give me as I'm so very transparent and have been refusing every non-double and a half shift they offer for several weeks. 

Work is mental at the moment. Good Friday I had to start at 4.30 in the morning. It was still dark outside and no one came until about quarter past five, but it was actually a really nice shift. I just had to organise orders and bag up hot cross buns with the bakers, who were still totally chilled out and cool at that point. I didn't have to serve people and deal with their shit (I don't. Control. The prices.) Fast forward a few hours, when we had about 3000 hot cross buns to get wires for, find places to put, and bag up. The manager was fighting with the bakers and we were trying to keep both happy (failing miserably, of course). There were about 1600 left after close which the closers took home in garbage bags. I took six and no one's eaten any. I think this 'getting free food from the bakery' would work better if any of us really liked bread or donuts or cakes.
Uni is huge. And terrifying. 

We talked through the lecture and missed most of the information and then couldn't figure out the map so missed the tour. We had to line up for about half an hour to get IDs and the camera was of such poor quality that they stretched the photo and I look kind of like Popeye. It won't expire until 2010. But at least I can catch public transport as a student again thank christ. Although I've lost that sense of entitlement: "I don't have to stand for you ANGRY MAN because we paid the exact same amount!" Now I just kind of sidle off behind angry man and let him sit, but my pockets jingle with their masses of change.

There's loads of cool stuff there, like a lake with ducks and bush turkeys just hanging about the place (the bush turkeys, like everyone who is not overtly a first year, intimidate me with their coolness, but probably soon I'll be able to look them in the eye) and cafes and shops and things. We were too tired to look around properly and still have that fear left over from school about just poking about, after being thrown out of the Distance Ed room far too many times to count.

There were people everywhere but I didn't have to speak to any strangers which is maybe a good thing. Or a bad thing seeing as I'm probably supposed to be starting on this growing up thing. I don't feel the slightest bit older, which almost certainly comes down to my friend enrolling for me, signing me up to my classes and guiding me through the public transport required to get there. And possibly the fact that we ended the day with a game of "I Spy." 

There's a snake in my backyard

Just hanging out and sunning itself in a tree.

I'm so bloody tired. We currently have a staff of four people who aren't completely incompetent twelve-year-old trainees and so I'm being rostered on six/seven days a week. When school goes back we will have a staff of two. When uni starts, my manager is totally fucked.

Instead of my recreation (ie, watching tv, playing video games, reading) decreasing with my free time, I've opted to cram more activity into less time, and simply cut out sleep. This wasn't voluntary, but there you are.

I have problems shutting my brain up. It runs and runs and runs and then can't be expected to just stop, a'ight, so we're going to be up until dawn and then I'll just bitch throughout an eight hour shift about how tiiiiiiiiired I am and why didn't you put me to sleep earlier? And then when night time rolls around we're bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.

Also Heath Ledger :(

Happy Happy New Year

Brain-meltingly sick during the actual occasion, fell asleep at 5.30 in the afternoon December 31, 2007, woke up at 12.10 am January 1, 2008 to dogs barking and fireworks outside my window and vaguely tried to come up with a resolution.


I have no idea what to expect from this year, and its just way too difficult and stupid to impose rules on it already. I don't even know what I'll get to study, where I'll get to study, if I'll study. In a way I don't want to find out, because then I'll have to start making decisions, applying, figuring out if it's really what I want to do.

I liked 2007, mostly. It could have used a bit more sleep and a lot less stress but there were good people and good food so all in all I smile fondly on the year and shall continue to do so.

Merry merry merry

Significantly fattened after Yuletide celebrations. 

Spent the past four days eating everything I could find, spending all my money and engaging in baffling conversations with my grandfather. If anybody wants to repeat the same thing to him again and again, even though he's clearly not listening, be told that everyone in the vicinity is either fat or gay, or listen to stories that go off on infinite tangents and contradict their own message, look him up.

Among us we perfected the elusive arts of calling into work sick, not understanding movies and manipulating five-year-olds. I think it's about time the markets were flooded with silent infant toys. I'm not sure my two-year-old cousin was too impressed when we took all her toys and gave her a book but if I heard that plastic laptop shriek "Hello! Please choose from the menu! Bye bye!" or the My Little Ponies held just one more disco while I was trying to sleep off dinner, there wouldn't be any family left next Christmas.

Going away always makes home seem so boring.


space hooker
World Famous Colon Explorer

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